


Rainbow Shitting Unicorn - A Harry Potter Tale

by ValwithV



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ginny Weasley Bashing, Molly Weasley Bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 01:16:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16776700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ValwithV/pseuds/ValwithV
Summary: Harry is a unicorn that shits rainbows and is a star Quidditch player. With Weasley bashing.(Not the most serious fic, but there ya go.)





	Rainbow Shitting Unicorn - A Harry Potter Tale

“Harry?“ Ginny’s timid voice carried in from the corridor through the closed bathroom door. “Are you alright?”

Harry didn’t answer, but only rested his head against the cool mirror. He looked down, at his green Holyhead Harpies uniform, and for the life of him couldn’t remember why he had ever wanted to wear it. Ever since his 11th birthday, since he’d found out he was a wizard, and about the weight his name carried, he’d detested his fame – detested, how witches and wizards alike pried into his personal affairs, thought they had some kind of claim to him… 

Sure, from time to time he had entertained the idea of playing Quidditch professionally… He’d seen himself at the Quidditch Worldcup, flying out onto the field in perfect formation with his teammates… He’d heard the audience cry out in excitement as he performed an imaginary Wronsky Feint to catch the Snitch… 

So yes, he had fantasized about it, but he had never intended to make it a reality. 

So why – when had that changed? 

“Harry, come on, open the door,” Ginny said, a begging undertone to her voice. 

He shot a Silencing Charm at the door. He needed to concentrate for this. 

He remembered an evening, shortly after Ginny and he had moved into their new flat right off Diagon Alley. Harry had cooked Ginny’s favourite dish, as she’d had her interview with the Holyhead Harpies that afternoon, and now hopefully had a reason to celebrate. 

The dinner table was set, the food ready and smelling deliciously by the time Ginny apparated in. She looked wind swept (which was to be expected after a gruelling Quidditch session) and happy. 

“And?” Harry asked, vibrating with excitement. “Did you get it?” 

She hugged him, gave him a quick peck on the lips. “I’ll tell you over dinner, I’m starving.” 

Harry grinned. “You’re worse than Ron,” he said. 

“Hush,” she admonished, smiling. “I doubt anybody can rival Ron.”

“You’re probably right,” Harry said, while serving each of them a generous portion. 

Ginny licked her lips in anticipation, her eyes big. Harry loved the way she could look so excited over a simple dish. 

“My favourite. Thank you,” she said. 

“Anything for you,” he whispered, and stole another kiss before taking a seat. 

“So, what’s there to tell?”

For a moment, Ginny’s smile faltered. 

“Gin?”

“Well,” she began. “It’s nothing, really. They say I’m good, great, I think was the word one of them used, it’s just…”

Harry was starting to worry. Ginny usually wasn’t so shy. “Just?”

She took a deep breath, her eyed fixed on a strand of hair she was twirling between her fingers. “They will only sign me if you agree to play of them for six months.”

“What?” Harry’s fork clattered to the table. 

“They need the publicity…”

“They approached me already,” Harry bit out between clenched teeth. “I told them no.”

“I know,” Ginny said, tears glistening in her eyes. “And I told them so, but they wouldn’t budge…”

“I don’t want all the publicity that comes with it, Gin.” 

“I know,” she repeated, her voice quivering. “But it’s my dream, Harry. It’s all I ever wanted to be.”

“And they should take you, you are brilliant on a broom!”

“They should, but they won’t. Because they know about our connection, they think--”

“They think they can use you,” Harry said. He felt anger bubble up in him. “I hope you told them no,” he said sharply. “You’ll get a spot on another team. You are talented after all.”

Ginny didn’t reply, but cried silently. “It’s the Holy Head Harpies,” she whispered after a while. “It’s my dream. Please, Harry. Only six months.” 

“No,” Harry said, standing so abruptly that the chair toppled over. “I love you, but no.” 

He’d gone straight to bed that after that, and Ginny’s side had remained empty and cold the entire night. The last thing he remembered clearly was breakfast the next morning. Ginny had handed him a cup of coffee… Had brewed a cup for him every day over the two months that had passed since then… 

Only today-- today he’d been in such a hurry that he’d carried the cup with him while running back upstairs, and he’d left the cup in their upstairs bathroom, he had forgotten to drink it… 

Harry felt sick. 

It couldn’t be… She wouldn’t… She was the love of his life, was she not? 

“Ginny,” Harry said, through the closed door – he didn’t think he could look at her right at this moment. “What have you been putting in my coffee?” 

“Nothing”, she answered shrilly. 

“Don’t lie to me,” he hissed. His fingernails were digging into the palm of his hand. “If you ever want a chance at reconciliation, you have to tell me the truth. Now. What did you put in my coffee? Armortentia?”

Silence, only interrupted by quiet sobs. 

“Nothing so vile”, she whispered. “Just… A mild suggestive draught. Mum said--” she broke off, blew her nose, then continued, “Mum said it was perfectly harmless. She’s used it too, in the past. No side effects.”

“Molly?” Harry repeated, hardly able to believe what he was hearing. “Molly knew about this?”

“Yes, but… It doesn’t have any side effects, Harry. None. And the people, they love you! You’re their favourite player, and--”

“But I never wanted any of this,” Harry interrupted her loudly loudly. He took a few deep, calming breaths. “What about the rest of the family?” he said, once he’d gotten himself back under control. “Ron, Hermione?”

“Nooo”, she wailed, “nobody else. Just mum and me.” 

“I never want to see either of you again,” Harry said, his voice quivering with rage. “Never.”

“B-but--“ and now Ginny was crying for real. “But you said if I was h-honest… you said, re-reconsiliation--”

“You poisoned me,” Harry almost shouted, his emotions boiling over. “You fucking poisoned me! You might have just as well used the Imperius Curse on me.”

“It not the same,” Ginny wailed. “Mum said--”

But Harry didn’t wait to hear what else Molly had said. With a loud crack, he apparated away, landing on a meadow near Hogwarts only moments later. 

He channelled all of his anger and hurt and betrayal into his spells, and made short work of a couple of trees nearby. 

Exhausted, Harry fell to his knees. It hadn’t really helped. The pain was still there. He knew of only one way to dull it. 

“Fuck’s sake,” he murmured, before he allowed his magic to swap him away, into his Animagus form. A unicorn. After he’d told Ron the prat hadn’t been able to stop laughing for almost a week. 

And Harry hadn’t even told him the worst part – that he shat rainbows every time he was in this form. (And sometimes even up until a few days later. It tickled, in a very uncomfortable way.)

His head blessedly empty of all thoughts Ginny, Harry galloped towards Hogwarts. Hopefully Hagrid was home. He always had the best Unicorn-treats.


End file.
